Kay Kay

:D I don't play video games very often but if there is any game worth playing in my opinion is the Legend of Zelda. I've grown up playing the game ...

At lunch, I went to the cafeteria to find Pete, and see if Devon was correct. Pete spent his lunch period there the year before so that was most likely ...

The slow beat music of the wedding swung to a halt, and I Susannah Leroux, breathlessly, sank into a satin covered couch. My partner planted himself roughly beside me. “Idiot, ...

I have been thinking the same thing just haven't got to it yet. LOL!

Well, I want to say something about myself but I dont know what to put so... I have been writing books for the past 4 years and have written over ...

Well, that is a lot to read. It's good...but too much for me to crit. LOL! Anyway, there a lot of places where you should begin new paragraphs like for ...

Well, the first sentence is a major run on. I like the story so far...it's really good. I agree with Meshugenah and DarkerSarah on the errors. Can't wait to read ...

Dear Jonathon Leroux and family: This is an invitation to attend the wedding of Sir. John Edwards and Miss Elizabeth Passerello on the evening of Tuesday, March the twelfth. The ...

What I do is...I write down everything during my free time on paper and then when I get home, I type it on the computer.

Once again...good job. I didn't really see much that was wrong, but I'm not really in a critting mood. Can't wait to read more.

I really liked it just like I liked chapter 1... I didn't see any errors besides the others that have critted this. I really like this story and can't wait ...

:D LOL! Okay first person is where the main character is telling the story saying like I did this and I did that. You know what I mean? And then ...

If you are going to write it in third person then yeah it would be a good idea to use her name in the first paragraph. What do you mean ...

Wow! I just loved it...but I agree with the Meshalidar on the grammer. Maybe you should condsider getting someone else to edit your stuff. Good job. I can't wait to ...

Yeah I'm Kayla! Okay, the reason that I asked who was telling the story is b-cuz in the second paragraph you started it out with she and that kind of ...